Category Archives: Travel

State Slogans Need an Upgrade

Out on the interstate, you see a variety of vehicles from nearly every state. That is one aptly named road, brother. While it’s not really fair to generalize about a state’s entire population (Alaskans are all hockey moms who sound … Continue reading

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Continental Breakfast Blues

I like biscuits and gravy. I don’t like carpenter’s glue with floor sweepings in it. Someone needs to get the word out to a certain hotel chain that there’s a difference. The Wire family took a 1900 mile road trip … Continue reading

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Hey, Jack Kerouac! Happy Birthday.

Five years ago I took an important road trip with my best friend. We piled into a borrowed 1960 Cadillac and drove from Missoula to Denver to witness the original manuscript for Jack Kerouac’s seminal book “On the Road.” The … Continue reading

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Oh My God! IT’S COMING RIGHT AT US!

I took my family to the Pinball Hall of Fame in Las Vegas a couple of years back, and once I found the Asteroids machine my tour ended immediately. I pumped quarters into that thing until I owned six of the … Continue reading

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Pinball Wizards In Las Vegas

I’m not a big Vegas guy. The soul-sucking bombast of the Strip leaves me cold, and the only gambling I do these days is when I sit on the toilet to drop a deuce before I check to see if … Continue reading

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Here’s How To Handle Those Fake Trouble Emails

“Please help,” they say. “We’re in a foreign country and misfortune has befallen us.” You have no idea who the sender is but the tone of their letter makes it sound like you’re their last chance at salvation. “We have … Continue reading

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Rehberg Boat Crash Back In the News, Satirists Delighted

So the redacted report on Congressman Denny Rehberg’s late-night boat crash at the hands of former state Representative Greg Barkus has been released this week. Nothing too shocking has been revealed, but I was immediately moved to dig up this … Continue reading

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Revisiting Osama bin Laden’s Final Day

  A source who is intimately familiar with the day-to-day inner workings of Osama bin Laden’s fortified compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, has released an account of the Al Qaeda mastermind’s last day. The source spoke on the condition of anonymity, … Continue reading

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The Making of Off White Christmas, Part 1

It all started with a hamburger. A big, greasy, overbuilt monstrosity that was reportedly “demolished” by Guy Fieri, the Food Network dude who made a career out of a hairstyle. The restaurant was Waddell’s in Spokane, and I’d called Chip … Continue reading

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This Is a Perfect Time to Panic

It’s coming right at you! Yes, YOU! If you’re reading this, you are directly in the danger zone of being hit by satellite nuggets sometime in the next few days. Okay, the odds are somewhat long-ish, at 3,200-1 (roughly the … Continue reading

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