Category Archives: Parenthood

Nobody Likes the Surprise Vegetarian

Let’s get this out of the way right off the bat: I don’t have a problem with vegetarians. I don’t have a problem with vegans. Whatever people decide to eat or not eat is their business, not mine. I don’t … Continue reading

Posted in Culture (or lack thereof), Family, Food, Health, Lifestyle, Montana, Parenthood | Tagged , , , | Comments Off

Back to School Shopping: Some Shortcuts

  School’s just around the corner. Waiting for you with a baseball bat to shake down for your lunch money. That’s the way I always felt at the end of the summer, during most of my public education career. Summer … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Parenthood, School, Shopping | Comments Off

Pinball Wizards In Las Vegas

I’m not a big Vegas guy. The soul-sucking bombast of the Strip leaves me cold, and the only gambling I do these days is when I sit on the toilet to drop a deuce before I check to see if … Continue reading

Posted in Culture (or lack thereof), Family, Lifestyle, Parenthood, Travel | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Grocery Shopping With Kids is a Teachable Moment, Dad

  People used to warn me never to take the kids along when I go grocery shopping. Forget that, man. The warning I should heed is to never go grocery shopping when you’re hungry. When I do, I come home … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Food, Parenthood, Shopping | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments Off

My Daughter the Kool-Aid Head

Last weekend I heard the words from my teenaged daughter that every father dreads. You raise ‘em up, you teach them right from wrong, bandage their scraped knees and protect them from as much of the world’s ugliness as you … Continue reading

Posted in Culture (or lack thereof), Family, Fashion, Middle Age Blues, Parenthood | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off

School Lunch: It’s Complicated

This morning, as the kids were filling their mouths with cereal the way I fill the emotional hole in my psyche with booze, I read the school lunch offering from the menu on the refrigerator door. “Today’s hot lunch is … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Parenthood, School | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Steve Jobs, RIP

It was a cold, gray, January morning in 1986. I walked with my new friend Tim into one of the gallery rooms at our Seattle art school. We stopped at a table to inspect this beige contraption that looked like … Continue reading

Posted in Culture (or lack thereof), In the News, Lifestyle, School | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off

Getting Schooled at the Open House

Well, it’s that time of year again—dodging bodies in the school hallway, navigating a strange new campus, trying to decipher a confusing schedule sheet, and hustling to beat the bell in time to find an empty desk before the teacher … Continue reading

Posted in Family, Parenthood, School | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off

Going to the Bird Sanctuary? Don’t Forget Your Arrowproof Vest

I’m not fat. James Gandolfini is fat. Larry the Cable Guy is fat. Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s rape file is fat. I’m stocky. Stout. Barrel-chested. A densely-packed man of action. Not fat. So when my wife casually grabbed a handful of my … Continue reading

Posted in Animals, Being Married, Family, Marriage, Montana, Outdoors, Parenthood | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment