Category Archives: Marriage

Why Does the Floor Have To Be So Low?

I am a pathetic worm. A writhing, whining, grunting, squirming carcass of need. Normal everyday function has been rendered impossible. For example, if I concentrate and struggle mightily for several minutes, I can remove one of my socks. I won’t … Continue reading

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Revisiting Osama bin Laden’s Final Day

  A source who is intimately familiar with the day-to-day inner workings of Osama bin Laden’s fortified compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, has released an account of the Al Qaeda mastermind’s last day. The source spoke on the condition of anonymity, … Continue reading

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How Clean Is Clean?

How clean is clean? It depends on whom you’re cleaning for, and who’s doing the cleaning. I’ve learned (usually the hard way) that “clean” means something different to men than it does to women. Men like things to LOOK clean: … Continue reading

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A Tale of Two Teams: Can a Marriage Survive?

The chatter of the exuberant bar full of NFL fans dropped to a murmur as we made our way through the Desperado last October. We took a seat at a table near the biggest of the big screens, she in … Continue reading

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Going to the Bird Sanctuary? Don’t Forget Your Arrowproof Vest

I’m not fat. James Gandolfini is fat. Larry the Cable Guy is fat. Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s rape file is fat. I’m stocky. Stout. Barrel-chested. A densely-packed man of action. Not fat. So when my wife casually grabbed a handful of my … Continue reading

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