Category Archives: Being Married

Why Does the Floor Have To Be So Low?

Posted on February 11, 2013 by

I am a pathetic worm. A writhing, whining, grunting, squirming carcass of need. Normal everyday function has been rendered impossible. For example, if I concentrate and struggle mightily for several minutes, I can remove one of my socks. I won’t … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Being Married, Drinking, Family, Food, Health, Marriage, Middle Age Blues, Pets, Pets | Leave a comment

Daddy’s Little Helper

Posted on January 30, 2013 by

Man, I haven’t been right since I fell out of bed this morning. The alarm went off, I misjudged my swipe at the snooze button, and fell right onto the dog, who was was in a dead sleep on the … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Being Married, Culture (or lack thereof), Family, Health, Middle Age Blues, Pets | Leave a comment

The Making of Off White Christmas, Part 1

Posted on December 22, 2011 by

It all started with a hamburger. A big, greasy, overbuilt monstrosity that was reportedly “demolished” by Guy Fieri, the Food Network dude who made a career out of a hairstyle. The restaurant was Waddell’s in Spokane, and I’d called Chip … Continue reading →

Posted in Being Married, Culture (or lack thereof), Family, Montana, Music, Travel | Leave a comment

How Clean Is Clean?

Posted on November 13, 2011 by

How clean is clean? It depends on whom you’re cleaning for, and who’s doing the cleaning. I’ve learned (usually the hard way) that “clean” means something different to men than it does to women. Men like things to LOOK clean: … Continue reading →

Posted in Being Married, Family, Marriage | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

A Tale of Two Teams: Can a Marriage Survive?

Posted on September 19, 2011 by

The chatter of the exuberant bar full of NFL fans dropped to a murmur as we made our way through the Desperado last October. We took a seat at a table near the biggest of the big screens, she in … Continue reading →

Posted in Being Married, Family, Lifestyle, Marriage, Sports | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Going to the Bird Sanctuary? Don’t Forget Your Arrowproof Vest

Posted on September 4, 2011 by

I’m not fat. James Gandolfini is fat. Larry the Cable Guy is fat. Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s rape file is fat. I’m stocky. Stout. Barrel-chested. A densely-packed man of action. Not fat. So when my wife casually grabbed a handful of my … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Being Married, Family, Marriage, Montana, Outdoors, Parenthood | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment